Goodbye

Reason i haven't posted in a while is because my identity has escaped. so i bid farewell, i will be back, New and yet just the same
Love you.
If destiny wills, we shall meet again.

forever yours.

Runaway Rockstar 


signing off, for the last time

lifes a bitch. So am i .

What happened today was something i am going to regret all my life. and yet.. i just don't know what to do.
Their all i have, and maybe for the happiness of one i have to loose another. i just don't know.
I'm completely devastated. It was like, when i lost my love. more than two years ago. When i had to pretend to hate, pretend to be angry, pretend to be rude, just so i know in a while i can see the other smile.
even though it leaves me completely destroyed. I know that i will see you smile in a few days, just like him
This was the hardest thing i'v ever done.
but maybe to make some smile, you have to make some frown.
Hardest shit ever.
and somehow when you can't smoke and your out of spirit. all you want to do is die.
at least i do.
i don't know what i should do.
im just randomly rambling.

you still mean so much to me.
but i guess you'l never know.

i want to still be your babe.
but i can't.
and im sorry

you don't have to be the settler anymore.
your free.

you deserve better.






forever yours ( in my heart)
Runaway Rockstar

Forever and ever

When your life revolves around certain people, before you notice their all you care about. 

Friends i have many, ones i call my heart, few. 

Since my identity is still behind the screen, i will not reveal names. 

My life revolves around, say about 5 people. 

now if you ask my who is more important, i'd choose 3. but leave that. 

Last night, i receive a text message from one of my hearts (that is what i will call them further more) 

he mentions something about cancer in him. and that set me off. 

Now, i talk a lot about death and shit. Im not scared of it, nor do i care much. But the death of a friend, family, acquaintance does scare me. specially the death of one of my hearts. 

I have been knows for my unorthodox ways and frankly odd methods. but that doesn't fucking bother me. 

anyway. 

now cancer is something i don't like talking about.

This is quiet an random post. i guess im just a little 'mind fucked' at the moment. what i really want now, is a fucking fag and a bottle of JD. 

forever theirs. 

runaway rockstar  

Firework - Katy Perry

This song reminds me much of myself and i bet a whole lot of others too :)

Baby, your my firework [heart]

Enjoy

Runaway Rockstar

You don't know

Being an outcast has not only taught me to be a stronger person but a less emotional one as well. I feel outcasted (if that is a word) in all area's including my own Family and the thing that drives me crazy is no fucking one person understands me.

Its as though i was born in the wrong place in the wrong time and wrong country. there's exactly NOTHING i can relate to.

School is a place where children usually find haven at, but no, its a place i completely detest.

Home is a place i take shelter in only to hate my self ever more.

Beach a place where i pretend to me another just so my thoughts and feelings are suppressed under another skin.

At this point of time. There are exactly TWO people (actually three, but he's isn't very Human) that really mean something to me.
At the point of time, There's a lot of anger or maybe just frustration and what i right here is just a outlet for that.

I love you both,

with all my heart.

and i don't care if the world burns me for it or if the society rejects me.. i will move and live on the moon and tattoo both your names on my skin to tell the world your all i want :)

Forever yours

runaway rockstar

To the song here in my hear

Well, this post is a song that really speaks me mind. Here are the lyrics.

Listen,

Beyonce in Dream Girls

Listen to the song here in my heart
A melody I start but can't complete
Listen to the sound from deep within
It's only beginning to find release

Oh, the time has come for my dreams to be heard
They will not be pushed aside and turned
Into your own all 'cause you won't
Listen

Listen, I am alone at a crossroads
I'm not at home in my own home
And I've tried and tried to say what's on mind
You should have known

Oh, now I'm done believing you
You don't know what I'm feeling
I'm more than what you made of me
I followed the voice you gave to me
But now I've gotta find my own

You should have listened, there is someone here inside
Someone I thought had died so long ago
Oh, I'm screaming out and my dreams'll be heard
They will not be pushed aside on words
Into your own all 'cause you won't
Listen

Listen, I am alone at a crossroads
I'm not at home in my own home
And I've tried and tried to say what's on mind
You should have known

Oh, now I'm done believing you
You don't know what I'm feeling
I'm more than what you made of me
I followed the voice you gave to me
But now I've gotta find my own

I don't know where I belong
But I'll be moving on
If you don't, if you won't

Listen to the song here in my heart
A melody I start but I will complete

Oh, now I'm done believing you
You don't know what I'm feeling
I'm more than what you made of me
I followed the voice you think you gave to me

But now I've gotta find my own, my own

Goodbye 2010.. Welcome 2011

Its the 31st of December, and my last post this year..

This has been a year i will probably not want to live again, but there are memories that will last forever.

Made friends who i will cherish till this world ends and that mean the world to me

This also means its closer to the fact that all my friends, the ones who my life revolves around, will go on for further studies in a few months. Specially one friend, He changed my life and my ideas. I will miss receiving text messages from him every morning and every night. Knowing him for less than 4 months, he has become a vital part of me. You were like the brother i had missed and the friend i never had. I shall feel aimless and completely lost without you.

The last few minutes of 2010, I want to spend with a very special person. Even tho you were only a fling, you made me feel pretty. even tho your not the best kisser and not my favourite "hookup" but you are probably the most special

The Cab Rides and the kisses, you made me feel like a princess. Just so you know, ill always be your 'babe' :)

I met a twin soul, He was someone i could relate to. His pains were like mine and his thoughts were like mine. We understood each other. Our walks to my ride after school are the best :)

My tallest friend :) Your a very different person and even though your completely crazy, i love you :) I will miss getting your texts, so much :(

I almost lost some and only a 'miracle' helped him out, Thankyou Dr.Natalie :) you gave me my brother back. Going through that, the thought that maybe tomorrow or the next hour you would breathe your last, we went through hell. you will probably never read this ;) but I love you, forever and forever cause you mean the world to me.

These are probably the most important things (there are a few more but those are best kept to myself) that has made this year different.

For all your 12graders, Best of luck

and for you love, Your babe wants to see you shine :)

forever yours,

runaway rockstar

I never want to let you go, but baby i guess its Goodbye

Its only now that i realize that once their all gone, Im alone.. On my own. in a few months, People who mean the world to me will be going off the countries far and near and there's nothing i can other than holding on to moments that made them so special, All i have left is a lousy goodbye i could say.

While i write this, i think of a bunch of people I'm going to have to get used not receiving texts/calls/missed calls from .

People who have been special for reasons of their own. All i wish for now is that 30 years from now, i still want to be talking to them like nothing happened, i want to be able to call them and say whatsup?

This is me just pouring my thoughts with no real sense, signing off now

Maybe some more and some less, but theres just too many people i shall miss.

Specially You.

rockstar

That one boy who always makes you weaker.

All girls have this ONE boy, it maybe their boyfriend, it could be their crush, or maybe just a friend. But there's always this one guy who makes your knees go weak, makes your heart go fast and of course sprouts that smile on your face.

Sometimes you don't know why, but there's this magic in them that no matter what, makes you high. He may not be the boy you really want to date, neither may he be the best of guys,

but simple things like the way he walks, the way he smiles or even just the way he talks makes you wonder so much.

You don't necessarily love him, But when he's around, your wondering if you do.

There's always this spark, and sometimes they know just what will cheer you up..

I have mine, and he's not what people call boyfriend material, in reality, pretty much he's what people call, Womanizer.. I couldn't agree any less.

Never the less, each time he sends me a text, or even a missed call, My heart skips a beat, cause i know i crossed his mind, even if its only for a second.

Well, He's my womanizer..

Whose yours?

Will be back soon,

Yours truly,

Rockstar

Walking on Sunshine.. :D

So this is what happend..

I was supposed to meet up with a girlfriend. .but this unfortunately.. Did not happen..

So very upset.. i excepted my boredom just as it was..

But suddenly, a phone call and a few texts.. changed my day from sheer darkness to sunshine :)

You made me smile.. like u always had ..

rockstar

ps. This is Probably the happiest post ever written on my blog.. :P