Something thats never happend

On the plane to my next destination was quite a journey.. and i swear a weird one too.

Ive never cried so much.

I missed someone i shouldn't. I don't know why i was missing him.

He isn't someone I'm supposed to be missing, and yet every part of me was aching to have him. I don't miss him, and yet theres this thing in me that wants him back.. sometimes a little too much..

i watch him with his girl and wonder..

If he could move on, Why can't I

Maybe thats why they say..

a heart never break even..

adieu

rockstar

auf Wiedersehen..

I can hear the church bells ringing with all their might... four churches at the same time..
*
i did something that was very unlike me..
i went to all the churches around, 4 churches to be precise and i lit candles in every steeple and put 2euro's in every box.
i don't know why but i sat on the benches and felt a calmness.
okay this doesn't mean that all of a sudden im going to belive in god or anything.. its just that the place had a silence and stillness that made everything peacefull..

*

Ive felt a random connectiong to this city.. i want to be a part of it someday..
Its amazing how no one cares about what you do, what you wear or what you are..
your allowed to be exactly who you are and not what society wants you to be..
well, I will be back here someday... i know that..

*

The hills are alive....

So im in the worlds most beautiful country.. well, city. actualy, no the whole fucking country is just awesome.
Its a city of art, history, music and the most gorgeous people i have ever seen.
This place is filled with Classical music, Dance and cute boys =p Yes, im happy. Very happy.
I havn't been this happy in a loong time,
very long time.

ps. i took a while. Uhm, i had so much to do, rather than staying home, so i din't make it onlinw.

Rockstar

with the world cup in front and a beer can in my hand..

Sittin in my room, i can see sporadic spots of snow far on the hills..
Im sitting inside only because its raining like crazy outside and its freezing..
i have been considering letting my identiy out, but then i it would mean that i wouldn´t be able to write as freely as i can now..
so iv given up the idea.. but once i think its right, its gonna be out .

Uhm, so the world cup. im ever so excited.
I wonder who´s going to win. Ah, that will only be known on 11th July.
Sigh. Football. a lovely game.

I really miss so many people right now, but i don´t want to go home. not now, not ever. but alas. that shall not be

Iv been watching foreign movies and honestly, their the best iv ever seen.

i spent 3 hours at the church yesterday and felt stupid, but the church bells mezmerize me ALL the time.

I plan to get 3 more peircings. my ears still hurt but i dont really care.

all this doesn´t make sense.


bye bye




rockstar

when nothing makes sense. I write random crap.

Im supposed to be packing my bags.. but i have 3 more hours before i leave so im cool.
Iv been sleeping A LOT lately which is very unlike me .
but this hasn't stopped me from staying up nights.
but whatever.
*

Im hoping this holiday will help loosen up the tightness around me.
there's this weird choking atmosphere which i can't bare anymore .
I need a break
i need CHANGE
*

So im falling in love.
but why am i so scared.
I shouldn't be? Im the one telling people that there's nothing scary.
I know he likes me. I know cause he told me so. but why is it that i try and avoid it every moment even though i can't stop thinking about him.
maybe i need to shut up.
*







I dont know what this was all about. Pardon me if it doesn't make sense.
i have no idea either.



rockstar